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Having been preoccupied by matters of spirituality for a while, the very limited wisdom I found is that God should always be a lived experience, not a belief. He can be found in the joy of creativity as well as in the chants of religion, but not in your thoughts.

So maybe drop the questions and try to feel the reality behind the words? Whatever path you may find yourself following. I'm studying Buddhism and meditation but it's mostly because I also come from a blank religious background and that appealed to me more than religion based on a personified God.

Good luck to you in any case.

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